


Love Burns

by elder_kelder



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, AU, Book of Mormon Musical, F/M, Gay, Gay Elder "Connor" McKinley, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Love Story, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Sad, Slow Burn, kevin price - Freeform, mcpriceley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24393172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elder_kelder/pseuds/elder_kelder
Summary: Kevin Price and Connor McKinley have known each other since 1939. They are truly best friends, or maybe even more. Secret love affairs, breaking hearts, wrecking homes, fighting oppression, and love.-(An AU of the Book of Mormon musical set in the 1930s-1960s)-Warning gay slurs and homophobia used
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price, Elder "Connor" McKinley/Original Female Character(s), Kevin Price/Original Character(s), Original Characters - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 14





	1. Why am I like this?

_May 23, 1943_

"Connor wait up!" I say as Connor races up the hill. I finally make my way up to him.

"What took you so long?" He says smirking at me. I roll my eyes and sit down next to him.

"How did you find this place? I've never been here before." I ask him. He looks at me for a few seconds before looking back at the sunset.

"I dunno... one day I was walking here and I just found it. I thought that you would like it." He says. I watch as his cheeks fill up with a slight blush.

"I do." I say. Connor turns back to me and we maintain eye contact for a long time. Man has he got pretty eyes. And a pretty face, he's just so adorable. I also love his freckles that pepper his cheeks.

"Hey Connor, I like your eyes." I say. Connor's entire face turns red.

"I uh, I like your eyes too." He says. I start to feel my face heat up now.

"Um Connor... what would you feel about... me liking someone."

"Well who?"

"Well they're just great... but a lot of people would be... disappointed in me for liking them."

"What, is it Mary?"

" _Ewww gross_." I say with a chuckle. I lightly shove him and he 'falls' over. He then laughs and grabs me and pulls me down so that we are both laying down. I look into his eyes and place my right hand on the side of his face. He stops laughing for a second and then leans in and places his lips against mine. After a few seconds I pull back to look at his pretty little face again.

"So um who _do_ you like?" Connor asks me as we both sit back up again.

"You know Alice..." I say trying to tease him.

"Oh Alice, she's nice I-"

"Con, I'm joking... I think I like.. you." I say quickly looking at the ground, trying to avoid his eye contact, not knowing how he would react. I feel him grab my hand and intertwine our fingers.

"I think I like you too." He says. I look back up into his eyes, and see a soft smile fill his face. I lean in once more to kiss him again. I then feel a metal soda can hit my back. I turn around to see two boys who seem about two years older than us.

"Henry looks like we have a couple of f**s." One of the boys says. I feel Connor's grip tighten on my hand.

"a w-what?" I ask him, not knowing what he called me.

"He said a _f**_. It means you like to take advantage of little boys. It's absolutely _disgusting_ what you guys do." The other boy, Henry, says. I've never liked any little boys. I don't know what he means. I thought having crushes was normal.

"We don't like people like _you_. You better get out of here before we call the cops." Connor and I didn't know what to do so we just ran away until no one was near us. I see Connor start to cry and I wrap my arms around him.

"Oh Connor don't cry... I'm sure they were just.." I stop talking and hold the boy in my arms, not knowing what else I can do. Am I not supposed to like Connor? I thought I was supposed to find someone that I want to be with. Was I doing things wrong? Are my thoughts wrong. That boy said that people like me like to take advantage of little boys. I don't want to do that to any little boys. I just want to find someone to spend time with, who likes me for me, and who I like too. _Maybe liking boys_ _was_ _a bad thing..._  
-  
-  
-  
 _February 12, 1948_

"Hey Con, wait up." I say. I catch up to him in the hallway. We start to make our way to our third period class.

"Hey Kevin. I haven't seen you much today." He says holding his books tightly to his chest.

"Yeah I was talking to Peggy. She asked me out... and I said yes." I say. I see Connor's eyes fall to the floor.

"Oh that's great!" He says cheerfully, though I can see a sadness behind his eyes. I wish I could take Connor out on a date. I want to treat him like a prince and shower him with gifts and affection. Although I learned at a young age that what I am is... not acceptable in the eyes of everyone around me. The last time that Connor and I did anything even _remotely_ romantic, was three years ago in 1945, when Con and I were both fifteen.

"Yeah I was pretty surprised when she asked me. She's in my second, and fifth period classes. I don't know her that well but I thought that I should give it a shot." I explain. I don't feel anything towards her at all, but I know I am supposed to find a girl that I love and start a family with her. _But I don't want to have a family with a girl._

"Oh well, she's nice so that's good. I think that she has had her eye on you for a quite while now." He says, putting on that fake smile. I hate when he does that. I only like to see him happy for real, not the fake shows that he has to put on for the people around him. It makes me sad. I just want my best friend to be happy, for _real_ , and not fake it.

"Oh really why do you think that?"

"I notice her looking at you quite a lot whenever we're together."

"Oh I hadn't noticed," I hear the first bell go off, "well um we better hurry to Mr. Tjeder's class before we're late..."

"Yeah..." He says shyly. Focusing on the ground once again.  
-  
-  
-  
 _February 14, 1948_

"So how are you enjoying your burger?" Peggy asks. She is a very nice and attractive girl. I wish I could feel attraction to her, but I just can't. I've been told al of my life that I am supposed to find a girl and start a family with them. I'm supposed to be a strong man and bring back money for the family. Though the only thing that I want to do is find a nice, sweet, and _handsome_ man that I can have fun with. I want to love someone that I can actually feel an attraction towards, not all of these lies that I have been told I have to feel.

"It's good thank you. What about your soup?" I ask her in response. She looks up at me with her bright eyes.

"I like it." We both just sit there eating in mostly silence. She tries a few times to spark up a conversation, but there is not chemistry between us at all. She's such a nice girl... _why can't I just like her?_

After dinner Peggy and I decided to go to the park for a walk. She grabbed my hand to hold it and I felt nothing the whole time. The only time I felt anything when someone held my hand, was when Connor held my hand... It started to get dark and just as I was about to suggest that I should walk her home when, she drags me over to a bench. We both sit there and she starts to complement me. I say complements back to her just to be nice.

"I, uh, like your hair.." I say to her. She smiles and leans into kiss me. I just sit there and then she fully connects our lips, but I don't kiss back. She disconnects our lips and we head out of the park. I walk her back to her house.

"So, would you maybe want to do this again sometime?" She asks sweetly.

"Um maybe... I'll see you at school on Monday. Um bye, have a good night." I say. I make my way home and think a lot about what I experienced. I didn't feel anything when Peggy kissed me. Why can't I just be a normal man. Why do I have to have these, um, _ideas_ of men. I just want to find a nice girl to spend my time with. I've heard other boys saying f** and talking about how they're disgusting. If anyone found out that I was.... I don't know what I would do. I decide to call Connor, since he is my best friend.

"Oh hey Kevin! How did your... date go with Peggy?" He asks. He noticeably pauses before he says 'date'.

"I well, uh... she kissed me."

"Oh. Did you... like it?"

" _No_." I answer quickly.

"Oh I'm sorry about that." Connor said.

"Hey con, can I come over?"

"Uh right now?"

"Please?"

"Yes." He says. I hang up the phone quickly and made my way down the stairs, grabbing my coat. 

"Kevy, where are you going?" My mother asks.

"Oh, I'm just going to Connor's house." I reply.

"Alright sweetie just be careful."

"I will, I love you ma." I say giving her a kiss on the cheek.

I walk to Connor's house relatively quickly. I knock on Connor's door and within 10 seconds Connor opens it.

"Hey, where are your parents?" I ask him, looking around to see the rather empty house.

"Oh they went out for a date."

"Oh cool."

"Well come in." Connor says and then shuts the door. I immediately place both of my hands on his cheeks and kiss him. I feel his arms fall to my shoulders as he kisses me back. He pulls away and we look into each other's eyes. How I missed looking into those blue eyes.

"Kev, I thought that we couldn't do this anymore." He says. He big blue eyes striking in the yellow-tinted light. We made the choice when we were 15 that we should stop our sneaking around... knowing what could happen if anyone found out.

"I know Con," I say as I let my arms fall to his waist, "I just missed you so much. I'm sorry."

"I missed you too." Connor says. He then leans back in and kisses me again. We start to make our way up the stairs to his bedroom. He shuts his bedroom door and I sit down on his bed. He sits down next to me and I put my arm around him. He leans his head into my neck.

"I wish I could take you on a proper date." I say. I just watch as Connor slowly nods.

"Hey do you wanna keep kissing?" Connor asks me.

"Yes please." I say. Connor kisses me and pushes me back to the bed frame. He sits on my lap and I slip off my jacket. We kiss for a little more before deciding that it's not a good idea to continue this into something more... _provocative_.

"Con you're shivering. Take my jacket."

"Kev it's fine."

"Connor I insist." I place my jacket over his arms. He looks so adorable in my jacket. It's just a little to big on him, and the brown pairs nicely with his hair.

"You're cute." I say.

"Well you're very handsome." Connor says back to me. I once again lean in to kiss him. I could spend days kissing him. His lips so sweet and soft. His touch so gentle and caring. And the little things that he whispers into my ears. Things start heating up again, but then we hear Connor's parents pull up.

"I guess I gotta go now Con..."

"I don't want you to leave. I wanna cuddle." He says with the cutest look ever. He gently holds my wrist. I give him one more quick kiss, and brush the hair out of his face.

"I really gotta get out of here. Can I still climb out of the window?"

"Yeah, let me help you." Connor says getting up from his bed. He slides the window open and blows me one more kiss before he shuts the window. I carefully and quickly climb down the side of his house. I remember doing it when I was 15. I start my walk back home noticing that it is quite cold. I then remember that I gave Connor my jacket. Well he looks really good in it so it doesn't matter. I finally get back home and open the door to see my mother standing there.

"Kevin where have you been. It's been 2 hours and it's 1 am!" My mother scolds me. She ushers me into the living room seeing that I was slightly shivering from the cold. I sit down on the couch, but she is still standing up.

"I'm sorry ma... I was at Connor's."

"Kevin, where is your jacket?"

"I must have left it at Connor's house I'm sorry. I'll ask him to bring it to me on Monday."

"Alrighty, just don't do that again sweetie I was worried."

"Okay mom, I promise I won't." I stand up and make my way to the stairs. Just as I was about to walk upstairs my mother stops me. She turns me around so I am facing her again.

"Kevin, what's on your neck?" She says pointing to it. I look down on at my neck to see a bruise peeking out from under my shirt. Damn it Connor left another mark... but he really loves doing that. And I love when he does it. I didn't answer my mother's question, my face turning red instead of an actual answer.

"Kevin were you at a girls house?" She asks in a more serious tone. I don't know what to do. Do I tell her I was at Connor's then have her think I'm lying again, or tell her I really _was_ at Connor's and have her figure out what _really_ happened. I could just say I was at a girls house... but that technically would be a lie.

"Yes I was. I'm sorry mom." I decide to just tell her I was at a girl's house, hoping I won't get in that much trouble.

"It's... it's okay. Just tell me where you're gonna be okay baby. I worry. And I get it, young love and what not. Me and your father had it too."

"Thank you mama. I'm gonna go to bed now."

"Alright, remember you can have any girl you want okay. You don't have to sneak around." She calls out as I walk up the stairs. The thing she doesn't realize is that I don't want any _girl_.


	2. Jackets

_February 16, 1948_

I walk into school trying to make my way to Connor's locker. I see him going through it and I sneak up behind him. I look around to make sure that no one is near us, before I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his neck a few times.

"Oh, hey Kevy." He says. I keep leaving short kisses on his neck.

"Kevin, stop that." He giggles. I drop my arms and lean against another locker. I then notice that he is wearing my jacket. For some reason it makes my heart flutter.

"You look good in that." I say, gesturing towards the jacket.

"Oh I'm sorry, I was going to give it back to you but it got cold." He says, starting to take it off.

"Wait no, leave it on. It looks nicer on you anyways." I say. His face gains a blush.

"You're sweet." He says, closing his locker. We parted our ways and I went to my first period class. Nothing remarkable happened, but in second period Peggy tried to talk to me. I feel really bad about what happened now. She was such a sweet girl, but I don't want to lead her on. I made my way to third period and smiled when I saw Connor in my jacket again. I take my seat and sit down next to Connor.

"Hey. Are you okay?" I ask Connor, seeing that he isn't looking his best.

"Yeah I'm okay..." He answers in a quiet voice. I still notice that there is something off. He doesn't seem like himself.

"Con, are you sure?" I ask, discretely placing my hand on his thigh, in an effort to comfort him. I quickly remove it when I hear footsteps walking towards us.

"Hey Connor. Sitting with your boyfriend I see." I hear a deep voice say from behind us. I feel my face go pale.

"What?" I ask turning around to see Robert standing there. He is a little bit taller than me, being 6' 3". He also is notorious for beating anyone up when he can, for any reason.

"You little f**s thought I wouldn't notice. Connor's even wearing your jacket." He says. I start to get angry, but I have to play it off cool.

"We aren't, fa-f**s. And that isn't my jacket." I say. Having trouble trying to say the word 'f**s'.

"Yeah I just... got this jacket." Connor says.

"I would never even think of being with a guy... that's just d-disgusting. We're just friends. I would never want to date Connor..." I explain. It hurts me terribly to say these things in front of Connor, given our... _situation._

"Whatever." Robert says before sitting back down. I see Connor's eyes start to tear up and I desperately want to just hold him and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. I know I can't, so I pass a note to him instead, reading: _Come to my house after school._ I see him smile slightly.  
-  
-  
-  
After school I clean up my room and light about seven candles to make it smell better. I also fix my hair the way that Connor likes it. I do really go crazy about this boy. One time when we were 15, I was going over to his house later and his parents weren't going to be there. I spent 30 minutes brushing my teeth. I hear a knock at my door and when I open it, my heart breaks.

"Oh Connor what happened?" I ask as I see the boy with a black eye and tears streaming down on his face.

"They, Robert just..." He tries to utter out. I close the door and grab his hands. His hands always fit so perfectly in my hands.

"Here baby, follow me." I guide him upstairs and shut my bedroom door. I sit him down on the bed.

"Let me get you and ice pack." I start to stand up, but I feel him grab my arm.

"Please stay." He says. I sit back down and he rests his head on my shoulder.

"What happened Con?"

"Robert and some of his friends beat me up calling me a f**. They tried to take your jacket, but I wouldn't let them. Which in retrospect, that probably made them beat me up more."

"Why didn't you just give them the jacket baby?"

"I love the fact that it's your jacket. And you let me wear it. It's like you're always with me." He says. I kiss his temple and put an arm around his waist.

"You're a sweetheart."

"No you are."

"Hey do you want me to beat those guys up." I say, earning a slight chuckle from him.

"Then they will definitely think that we're..."

"I know."

"Are we?"

"Connor I really like you, but we can't... we have to keep whatever this is, a secret."

"I like you too Kev.... and I understand.."

"Con I'm so sorry.."

"It's okay. I get it."

"I promise I really like you." I say, lifting up his chin and kissing him. He pulls away.

"I know you do." He grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers.

"I think we have to be more careful... about.. us."

"Yeah... clearly." He says gesturing to his eye.

"I'm sorry that they did that to you... I wish I could have been there to protect you."

"It's okay Kevy." I hear the back door open and I scoot away from Connor. My mom then opens my bedroom door.

"Oh hi Connor... oh, what happened to your eye?"

"Oh it's nothing Mrs. Price."

"Here, follow me darling. We'll get you cleaned up. And Connor, you can call me Anna." As they walk out of the room, I remember that Connor is wearing my jacket... I follow them to the bathroom and I hear my mother talking to Connor.

"So Connor, do you have an apple of your eye?" I hear my mother ask Connor smugly.

"...yeah you could say that."

"Well what's she like?"

"Umm... well _she_ is... sweet, funny, kind, intelligent... she cares for me. We have a lot of fun together, and I really like her." A blush fills my face.

"That's great Connor! Maybe you could introduce us one day."

"Yeah... maybe."

"Well I'm just happy that you're happy... wait, is that Kevy's jacket?"

"Uh- it is... he left it at my house and I was going to give it back to him." I hold my breath.

"Wait- so he was at your house last Saturday?"

"Yes. Why did he not tell you?"

"I have to go talk to him..." I hear the door open and I quickly grab a book and sit in the living room.

"Hey ma."

"Were you at Connor's house last Saturday."

"I thought we went over this, I went to a girl's house."

"Then why did he just tell me that you were at his house."

"I wasn't."

"He has your jacket."

"Well, I was a Connor's house.. and he um.. set me up with a girl so I went to her house after his."

"Kevin Price. Stop changing your story on me."

"That's what happened! I promise."

"Fine we'll ask Connor then. Connor could you please come here." My mother calls for him.

"Yes, Mrs- Anna."

"How long was Kevin at your house for?" While my mom is questioning Connor, I put up my hands showing a 3 and a 0. He looks at me for a second.

"30 minutes."

"Did you set him up with a girl?"

"Yes." He answers quickly.

"Alright then. Thank you. Kevin I think you should see Connor out... I'll have your father talk to you about this when he gets home."

"Yes mam." I say. I make my way over to Connor and I show him to the door. He hands me my jacket.

"Why are you giving me my jacket back sweetheart?" I whisper.

"I have to..." He explains. He looks around for a second before he kisses me. He puts his hand on my cheeks. I pull away before anyone can see us.

"Thank you for your help." He says.

"No problem... thank you too."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah... please be safe."

"I will, I promise."

"Alright... bye."

"Bye." He says. I shut the door behind him and make my way up to my room. I sit at my desk and open up my math text book.  
-  
-  
-  
"Hey Kevin! Come down here please." I hear my dad call. I quickly make my way downstairs.

"Sit down, son." My dad says.

"Yes sir."

"So you were at Connor's on Saturday?"

"Yes sir."

"But you also went to a girl's house... and that's where you got that hickey." He says. I feel my face heat up.

"...yes sir."

"Why did you pause."

"It's just a little awkward..."

"Who's the girl."

"What now."

"Who is the girl."

"Peggy."

"Oh, her. Well let me call Mr. Stewart up." He walks over to the phone and dials some numbers in. I stare at the ground.

"Hello Mr. Stewart!.... yes this is Mr.  
Price. Was Kevin at your house on Saturday. He wasn't? And you were in all night?... thank you, have a nice night." He finishes the conversation. He walks back over and sits down.

"So who was it."

"Who?"

"What girl Kevin?"

"No one."

"Kevin Scott Price. You will tell me who's house you were at on Saturday." He says, standing up. I stand up too.

"No."

"Did you just say no to me?" He asks. I nod my head and look away.

"I am so tried of this. I thought that we were done. You did this when you were 15, now what you've found someone else? You are supposed to find one girl to stay with, and you never have brought any home for me to meet."

"Because none of them were right for me! I'm sorry..."

"Kevin I don't even care that you're sneaking out, but when are you going to find a girl. You're 18. Both your sister and brother have already found someone."

"It just takes time okay."

"Well it's taking too much time."

"I'm sorry." I say, I feel my eyes start to get watery.

"Don't cry. You look like one of those f**s." He says in a harsh tone. It hurts so much when he says things like that.

"Okay." I mumble.

"What was that?"

"Yes sir."

"Go up to your room. Why must you always disappoint me?" He says. I quickly make my way up to my room and lay in my bed. I feel the tears in my eyes start to fall. I grab the jacket that Connor gave back to me and hold it to my chest. _It smells like his cologne._ I just don't understand why what I am, is wrong. All I have ever done is been attracted to men. I never have wanted to have sex with young boys. I haven't wanted to kidnap them. I just don't know how to stop it, I wish I could. I wish that I could make my dad proud of me. No matter how much I try, I can never impress him. I have maintained the highest grades, I played 3 instruments, I tried painting, I tried sports... I just don't know what he wants. Well I do, he wants me to meet a girl and marry her and have kids. He always talks about how I haven't found the "one". He always asks why I haven't ever brought girls home for him to meet. I close my eyes and just try to stop thinking about this.   
-  
-  
-  
 _"Kevin darling..." I hear a voice call out for me. I turn around to see Connor wearing almost see-through silk, laying on a couch._

_"Con..."_

_"Come here.." I walk over to him and his wraps his arms around my neck and kisses me passionately._

_"Con, what are you doing?" I say._

_"Trying something new." He says. He starts to pull up my shirt. I throw it to the ground._

_"Are you sure... we've never done this before."_

_"I'm sure." He answers. He starts to kiss my neck, and keeps kissing lower, and lower._

_"Oh Con..."_

_"Kevin."_

_"Yes con?"_

_"Kevin."_

_"What?"_

_"Kevin."_

_"Connor why do you keep saying my name?"_

"Kevin!" I look around and see my mother standing right in front of me.

"Hey."

"Get up you need to get ready."

"Okay ma." I get up and get dressed. I styled my hair back and changed into my school clothes. I shove another one of my jackets into my backpack.

"Kevin would you like some toast?" My mom asks me.

"Yes please." She hands me a plate of toast and kisses my cheek.

"Thank you mom."

"You might want to cover that up." She says pointing to the hickey on me.

"Oh thanks..." After I finish my toast I head out the door.

"I'll see you later." I say as I'm walking out the door. When I get to school I go to my locker. I feel a tap on my shoulder.

"Oh hey Connor."

"Hey Kev. I'm sorry if things got weird yesterday."

"Oh it's okay... Hey I have something for you." I grab the jacket that was in my backpack out and hand it to him.

"I just knew how much you liked my other one. Don't worry my mom doesn't know I brought this one." I say, my face heating up.

"Oh that is so sw-nice of you." He says taking the jacket.

"Hey... I would kiss you but there's too many people around right now." I say in a low voice. I see his face get red. I like to make his face red, it's just so adorable when he gets all flustered.

"Oh, well, um i'll see you in third period.." He says.

"Yep."

"Okay... bye."

"Bye." I watch as he walks away from my locker, wearing my jacket. I don't know why that always makes my heart soar.


	3. Something new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning extremely mild smut. (Basically implied smut)

_February 20, 1948_

"Kevy stop it!" Connor says through giggles.

"Hmmm let me think about that, no." I say with a laugh, continuing to kiss him on his neck.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Connor asks.

"Nothing..." I say sliding my hands up his shirt.

"You're gonna leave a mark."

"Can I?"

"...yes." He says reluctantly.

"Good." I say, finding a spot to suck on. After a few seconds Connor lets out a small moan.

"What was that?" I ask with a small laugh. I look up at his face to see that it is completely red.

"It was nothing..."

"Are you sure... because it seems like I've found your sweet spot."

"Maybe you did."

"Maybe? It sure sounded like it."

"Do you really wanna play that game?" He smugly asks.

"What game?"

"Here switch spots with me." He says. I scoot off of him and let him sit on my lap.

"What are you going to do?" I chuckle.

"You'll see." He says before kissing my neck, immediately earning a moan from me.

"Wow, you know me too well."

"I do." Connor says with a smile. I place one of my hands on the side of his face.

"You're so pretty Con."

"Well, you're very handsome Kevy."

"Connor I have a question..."

"What is it sweetie?"

"Well on Tuesday I had an interesting dream." I explain to him, as I wrap my arms around his waist, holding him tightly. In turn, he wraps his arms carefully around my neck.

"What was it about?"

"Well... um. Kind of about us." I tell him, my face warm.

"Oh. What about us?"

"Well, why haven't we ever done anything."

"Done anything?"

"Like... um together."

"What do you mean?" He asks with innocence.

"Like romantically... kind of adult.."

"Oh. That."

"I'm sorry if it's weird, but everyone has done it by our age. Or they're waiting for marriage."

"We could maybe... try."

"Really?" Honestly I am pretty surprised that he said that. He never really seemed like the type of guy to do that. Or maybe that's just because I've known him for nine years.

"I mean... I'm just not sure how that would work... with us."

"We could figure it out together..."

"When."

"Oh boy. You're a bit forward aren't you?" I say laughing. This whole situation is getting me pretty nervous to be honest. As much as I like Connor, this is still scary.

"You're the one who asked me why we haven't ever had sex." He says giggling.

"Well um are you doing anything tomorrow? My parents are going to be out of town..."

"No. I'm free."

"So um. Tomorrow."

"Yeah... tomorrow." He confirms with a smile. I lean in and kiss him passionately. We kiss for a while until I hear footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Baby... I hear footsteps." I say to Connor. He quickly climbs off of me.

"I don't have any marks, do I?"

"No, you're good. Do I have any?"

"No." He says. He grabs a math book and a pencil. We've had to hide our... feelings... for each other many times. So I just know to go with it by now.

"So um, how do you do this equation exactly?" I say before someone opens the door.

"Oh Kevin. I didn't know you were here!"

"Hi Hazel!" I say.

"Hazel!" Connor says jumping off of the bed and giving his sister a hug. She is twenty now and she moved in with her Fiancé a few months ago. Connor and Hazel have been extremely close for as long as I can remember. She's like a girl version of him. She even has his beautiful hair. If I liked girls... I would probably like her.

"How have you been Con?" She asks him.

"I've been good. What about you and David?" He asks.

"Good. I'm just ready for the wedding already. Hey have you found a girl to be your plus one yet?" She asks, gently nudging him with her elbow.

"Oh, haha. Not yet..."

"Hey Kevin. Do you wanna come too? Your mom and dad could also tag along!" She asks, making her way over to me. I stand up and give her a hug.

"Are you sure?" I ask her in return.

"Of course. You're like a second brother to me."

"I am?"

"Yeah. I've known you since you were what, nine?"

"Wow. Well I would be glad to come. When is the date?" I ask.

"May first of this year."

"Why that day?" Connor asks.

"Oh Con, I didn't tell you?" Hazel asks him.

"No..."

"It will be our two year anniversary!"

"Awww that's sweet." I say.

"Wait, I thought you guys started dating on the eleventh of May." Connor says.

"Well we kept it a secret for ten days, so what." She says with a laugh.

"I just didn't know... that's all."

"Hey, have you picked out a dress yet?" I ask, trying to get rid of the tension.

"Oh I have. It's white and it has the ruffles all throughout. I just can't chose a veil."

"Maybe I could help. I've always been pretty good with fashion."

"That seems like fun. I'm free Sunday." She says.

"Yeah that sounds good. Maybe Connor could come too?" I say.

"Yeah that sounds great! Well I have to go talk to mom. I'll see you on Sunday Kevin, and I'll see you later Con."

"Bye Hazel." I say. Right as she shuts the door, Connor walks up to me and kisses me. He wraps his arms around my waist. I pull away after about ten seconds.

"What was that for?" I ask with a chuckle.

"I just love how you get along with my family." He says, now running one of his hands through my hair. We just stand there looking in to each other's eyes for a few minutes.

"Hey what time is it?" I ask him.

"Where's your watch baby?"

"I don't know. I lost it I guess."

"Well," he looks down at his watch, "it's 7:16."

"As much as I want to stay with you, I have to go."

"Wait, What about tomorrow?"

"What _about_ tomorrow?"

"About the... um. Thing we've never done."

"Oh that. Tell your parents you are staying the night at my house so we can come back here on Sunday and go veil shopping with Hazel."

"Sounds good. I'm um, excited."

"Yeah... me too." I say kissing him again.

"Let's go tell my parents. Now."

"Oh tonight?"

"What? Can't we spend two nights together instead of one?"

"That's sounds great. But just know my parents aren't leaving until sometime tomorrow."

"That's okay. I just like spending time with you." He says, kissing my cheek. We walk down to his parents together.

"Hey mom. Is it okay if I spend tonight and tomorrow night at Kevin's? We'll be back on Sunday to help Hazel shop for veils." He asks.

"Kevin are your parents okay with this?"

"Of course. They love having Connor over."

"Well alright then. Connor you may go." She says.

"Thank you mama. I love you. Okay I have to go get some clothes. I'll be back in a minute Kev." Connor says before going up the stairs.

"So Kevin, have a seat please."

"How have you been Mrs. McKinley? You look great by the way, new haircut?" I say, earning a laugh from her.

"Yes, thank you for noticing. And I've been great! I mean, my little girl's getting married!"

"I know. I am so happy for you all!"

"Thank you. So have you found a girl yet?" She asks sweetly.

"No, not yet. Still looking." I say with an awkward laugh.

"You and Connor always seemed to have trouble with the ladies."

"Yeah..." After a few more minutes of small talk, Connor comes down with his backpack.

"Ready to go?" I ask him.

"Yep."

"Well you two have fun. Be safe you guys. I love you Connor." His mom says, kissing him on the cheek.

"I love you too mom." Connor says. We walk to the front door. He goes to open it, but I stop him before it does.

"Wait, Con don't you need a jacket."

"I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay..." We walk for a little bit before Connor starts to shiver.

"Connor, you're shaking."

"No I'm fine."

"Con. I told you to grab a jacket." I say putting my jacket on his shoulder.

"Thank you." He mumbles.

"Well someone's grumpy." I say in a joking way.

"I just don't like to be wrong."

"I know that." I say. I discreetly grab his hand and intertwine our fingers. The only reason that I am even trying this is because it is dark out and practically no one else is around. We always have to be so careful. I've read about other people... like us... who get attacked and beaten and killed for being who they are. If anyone ever hurts Connor, I think I might kill them.

"Kevin what are you doing?" Connor says, letting go of my hand.

"Oh... I'm sorry. I thought we would be okay."

"I just think we need to be a little bit more careful."

"Oh okay..." I say. When we get to my house I slip my jacket off of Connor's shoulders.

"Sorry Con... I just don't want my mom to say anything."

"No, it's okay." He says.

"Mom, I'm home. Connor is here too." I yell into the house. My mother comes down from upstairs.

"Hi Connor! How are you. I see your eye is better!" She says, giving him a hug.

"I'm much better, uh, Anna."

"Well I am glad to hear that. Kevin how long will Connor be staying?" She asks me.

"Just today and tomorrow night. Then on Sunday we are going to go veil shopping with Hazel."

"Oh I am so happy for her! Her and David are a great couple. Well do you boys need anything to eat?"

"I'm okay, Connor?" I ask him and he nods.

"Okay well me and your father are leaving early tomorrow." Connor and I make our way to my bedroom.

"Hey I have to take a shower real quick okay." I say.

"How about we do that together?" Connor says. I feel my face turn red.

"As much as I would love that, I think that we shouldn't do that while my parents are here."

"Kev I was just kidding. Wait you want to do that?" Connor says with a smirk on his face.

"...um n-no. No. I uh, I'll be back in a few minutes." I say. Connor starts to laugh.

"You're cute when you get all flustered." He says. I grab a towel and I make my way to the bathroom and start to run the shower. I get undressed and I look down for a second. I know what Connor and I talked about earlier. I've never shown myself like that to anyone before. _Should I shave?_ I don't know if you are supposed to or not. What if he doesn't like what he sees. _Maybe I should shave._ It would probably look better if I did. I have never shaved there before. I grab my razor and step into the shower. I slowly and carefully start to shave it. I make sure to not cut anything. I clean off the razor and put it back where it was.

"Gross there's so much stuff on the floor." I wipe everything into the drain. I quickly finish the rest of my shower routine. I walk back into my room with a towel wrapped around my waist. Connor looks up from a book that he was reading.

"Wow, you look good." He says.

"You're not so bad yourself." I say kissing his forehead. I walk over to my drawers and grab some pajamas. I slip on the shirt and slide on my underwear using my towel as a cover. Connor looks away so I can put on my pants. I sit down next to him.

"What took you so long in there?" Connor asks me.

"...nothing." I say, my face quickly gaining a blush.

"Okay weirdo..." Connor says. My mom then walks into my room.

"Me and your father are off to bed Kevin. Goodnight boys."

"Goodnight." Connor says.

"I love you mom."

"I love you too Kev. Goodnight." My mom says before she shuts the door.

"Your mom is so sweet" Connor says.

"She is. I love her."

"Hey, you're going to cuddle me tonight. Right?" Connor asks me giggling.

"Hmmm I don't know... am I?"

"Oh come on. You walked in here with a towel around your waist. You can't tease me like that!"

"Tease you? I thought we were saving that for tomorrow."

"Oh shut up." He says, jokingly smacking my arm.

"Hey come here." I say. Connor scoots closer to me. I gently place my hand on his neck and start to kiss the other side of it.

"You seem to really like my neck." Connor says.

"Mm hm." I mumble, still kissing his neck. He starts to run his fingers through my hair.

"Why don't we do this more often?" He asks. I stop kissing him for a second.

"Because we aren't aloud to, sadly." I say and then start to kiss his neck again.

"I know, but it's so stupid. I don't get what's wrong with us being together. We aren't hurting anyone. We just like each other."

"I know..." I say against his neck.  
-  
-  
-

"Con... Con... Connor." I say, gently shaking him. He fell asleep on me, and it is one of the cutest things that I have ever seen.

"Con, I want to say bye to my mom and dad."

"...huh?" He says shifting a little.

"Baby get up."

"Okay... let me brush my hair and teeth." He says, getting out of bed. While he is brushing his teeth I change into my day clothes, and then we switched. After we got ready we walked down stairs.

"Oh there you are. Me and your father are about to head out." My mom says, hugging both of us.

"Well I hope you have a nice and safe trip." I say.

"Oh honey it's not a trip, it's just for your father's work." My mom says.

"Right..." I say. My dad then walks in from the kitchen.

"Good morning boys," he says, "hey Connor." He says before putting out his hand. Connor shakes his hand.

"Good morning Mr. Price." Connor says.

"You've got a firm handshake there son." My dad says to him.

"Thank you sir." Connor says back.

"Well we better go now. We'll see you on Sunday night Kevin." My mom says kissing me on the cheek. My mom and dad get in the car and start driving. As soon as they leave the street Connor turns to me and kisses me passionately. We continue kissing as we walk up the stairs. I open my bedroom door and Connor pushes me on my bed and straddles me.

"Connor are you sure about this?"

"I've been wanting to do this for so long Kevy. Trust me, I'm sure." He says. He starts to kiss my neck, right in my sweet spot. I start to unbutton his shirt. He slides he shirt off, but it gets caught on his wrist.

"Kevy can you help me?" He asks through giggles. I get the rest of his over shirt off. He slips off his undershirt too. I place my hands on his stomach, gliding them across it.

"You're so pretty Con. Like you're hot. You're hotter than any other person I've seen."

"You're a sweetheart. You are also very good looking. Would you switch places with me?" He says. He then lays down and I gently situate myself on top of him. We continue to kiss before he starts to tug on my shirt. I get the hint and I toss both my over and undershirt to the side. Next he reaches for my belt. He unbuckles it and throws it off of the bed. I start to undo his and I start to kiss down his chest and stomach. I start to kiss several places for prolonged times.

"Kevin there's gonna be so many marks!" Connor says laughing.

"So you'll just have a lot of hickeys. It will make you never forget this day." I laugh. I continue to kiss his stomach, until I hear him moan.

"Oh Kev... keep kissing there." I keep kissing in that one spot for a while, before I start to slide his pants off.

"Wait let me help." He says. He quickly takes them off.

"Should I take mine off too?" I ask him.

"Yes." That's the faster answer I've ever heard from him. I take my pants off and toss them behind me. We keep kissing before I decide to try and move things along. I roll my hips against his.

"Kevin... do that again." He says. I let out a little laugh before I do it again. He grabs my underwear and starts to slide it off me. I stop him for a second.

"What's wrong baby? We don't have to do this if you don't want to." Connor says, gently caressing the side of my face.

"No, I do. I'm just a little bit nervous... I don't know if you're going to..."

"I'm going to what?"

"Going to, uh... like what you see."

"That doesn't matter to me... I just want to share this experience with you." He says. I kiss him softly again.

"You're so sweet... okay I'm ready now."

"Good." He says. I slide off my underwear quickly and I see his eyes go wide. I feel my face go red. I start to get nervous.

"What... is it too small?"

"No... it's actually... pretty big... wait did you shave? Is that why you took so long in the shower yesterday?" He says with a small giggle.

"Hey I wasn't sure if I was supposed to or not."

"No baby it's fine. You look very... hot... I'm just teasing you a little. I think it's sweet you wanted to do that for me. Plus I, uh, shaved too."

"Can I see?" I ask him, and he starts to laugh.

"Wow what a way to ask to see my dick." He says.

"Wait I didn't mean it like that-"

"Baby I'm joking. Listen, just take off my underwear." He says. I am still a little bit nervous so I just start talking again.

"Isn't this supposed to be like a romantic moment? Is there usually this much talking?"

"Well I don't know... but this can be how we do it. I think it's more fun this way. Plus I think it's plenty romantic."

"Honestly I don't care how we do it, I just want to share this moment with you. I mean this is a first for both of us... and I definitely won't forget this..." I say, laughing slightly. Connor quickly takes off his underwear. I just look at it for a few seconds before I look back into his eyes.

"Now what?" He asks.

"I don't know... do I... you know..." I motion me putting myself inside him without actually doing it. I've only heard how a guy and a girl do it, not a guy and a guy.

"I...I think so." He says looking down.

"Do you want me to, uh." I say. He doesn't answer for a few seconds.

"Yes." 

"Um... okay. Ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." He says. We both laugh and I kiss him one more time.


	4. Lucky

_February 21, 1948_

"That was...wow." I say. I look over to the beautiful redhead. We've been laying here for fifteen minutes without even saying anything. Both of our bodies are covered in hickeys. We tried our best to leave them in places that won't be seen, but I may have left some on his lower neck still...Once we finished we didn't even put our clothes back on. We just laid in each other's arms. I like the feeling of his bare body against mine. I like his smooth legs, and his back, and his chest pressed against mine. I really don't know how to describe what happened. We didn't really know what we were doing, we just did what felt good. It went much differently then I expected. I always thought that sex was supposed to be a very quiet and just straight to the point. But what Connor and I did was so different. It was so beautiful in a way. It was filled with sweet comments and compliments. There was jokes and laughing. I am so happy that I got to share this experience with him. You only have your first time once.

"Yeah. It was...wow." He says with a chuckle.

"Hey come here." I say. He scoots closer to me and I start placing light kisses all over his face.

"Kevy..." He says with a giggle. I start to tickle his sides a little bit.

"Kevin!" He starts to laugh more as I continue to tickle me. He lightly tries to push me away.

"Alright, alright." I say, moving to the side of him. He wraps his arm around my waist, and I lean my head on his shoulder.

"You know Kev, I'm a very lucky man."

"You are?"

"Have you seen the man who is sitting next to me? Naked, might I add." He says, making me laugh.

"Have _you_ seen the man who is sitting next to _me_?"

"You're such a sweetheart." He puts a hand on the side of my face and kisses me. I place my hands on his upper back. We stay like that for minutes. I could stay like this all day honestly. Just knowing that I am in his arms, and that nothing can hurt me, it's an amazing feeling. I can feel his lips pressed in a smile. Oh god how I love that about him. He's always so smiley. I pull away and press my forehead against his.

"You're such a cutie." He says with a small smile.

"Well you've got such a pretty face." I say, his face heating up. He really is beautiful. I love his freckles, his eyes, his lips, his hair, just everything about him.

"No, you're the pretty one."

"Connor, I know men aren't supposed to be beautiful, but you are. You are the most beautiful person that I have ever seen. Inside and out."

"Kevy, you are the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful person that I know. Also... you have a big dick which is a plus."

"Wow. What a romantic thing to say." I say as I jokingly roll my eyes.

"I know."

"Yours isn't too bad either." I say, making him laugh.

"Why thank you." He says. He gives me one last smile before going to nibble on my neck.

"Con, don't leave any marks."

"Why not? You left a bunch on me."

"Yeah, mostly on your thighs. So unless you plan to show someone else your upper thighs... don't leave any visible marks."

"Fine... can I leave them somewhere... else." He asks smirking.

"...okay." As soon as I say that he moves the blanket and starts to kiss my bare thighs. I feel my breath hitch.

"Oh... you're doing that _there._ " I ask, awkwardly pushing my back against the bed frame.

"Yeah. You did it to me."

"I'm not complaining... it just caught me off guard." I explain with an awkward laugh.

"Are you okay with this?"

"Yes, I like it..."

"Good." He says before going back to my thighs. He is down there for a few minutes before he comes back up.

"You look nice with those." He says, referring to the seven hickeys he just left.

"Yeah..." I say, placing my hand on top of his. I then hear the front door open and my eyes go wide.

"aw shit." Connor says. I quickly stand up and put my underwear and pants back on, while he does the same thing.

"Here. You have to cover up those hickeys." I say, tossing him his shirt.

"I thought that your parents were gone this weekend." He states buttoning up his shirt and fixing his hair.

"So did I."

"Kev, open a window. It smells like cum." I walk over to my windows and open them both. I rush back over to the bed and fix the sheets.

"Hey Kevin are you up here?"

"Wait is that Thomas?" Connor asks me, flattening my shirt.

"Yeah, I'm in my room!" I call back to him.

"Can you see any marks?" Connor whispers to me.

"uhhh... just keep your shirt collar up. Me?"

"I didn't leave any on your neck..." He answers with a smirk. My door handle starts to turn and I step away from Connor.

"Oh hey Connor!" Thomas says.

"Thomas what are you doing here?" I ask him.

"What? I can't come and see my brother?"

"So you came all the way from Jersey into Ohio?" I ask him, not believing his prior excuse.

"It's important okay... where's mom?"

"Her and dad aren't going to be back for the weekend. Why?"

"Aw damn it."

"Tom what's the matter?"

"I was gonna propose to Ella..."

"Oh, that's great!" I say, pulling him in for a hug.

"Oh congratulations Thomas!" Connor speaks up.

"Thank you... hey Connor you got something on your neck there." Thomas says chuckling a bit. Connor's face turns completely red. I feel mine becoming slightly warm too.

"Oh... thank you for telling me." He says, pulling up his collar more.

"So Kev, looks like Connor's got someone... what about you?"

"Not yet."

"Man, I bet dad's breathing down your neck."

"Yeah. You could say that." I say looking at the ground. I can already feel my eyes starting to get watery. I can not cry in front of my brother, and I especially can not cry in front of Connor. I don't want him to think of me as weak. I mean, I know he wouldn't care, but I want to be strong for him.

"Don't worry, you'll find the girl for you soon."

"Hopefully."

"Well, I'm gonna go to my room and just hang out. I'll just wait for mom and dad to get back."

"Okay sounds good." I say. Thomas leaves the room, shutting the door.

"Baby, what's the matter?" Connor asks, placing his hand on my upper arm.

"It's just, my dad really wants me to find a girl."

"Oh."

"Hey are you hungry?" I ask him, trying to change the subject.

"Not really. I just ate." He replies with a smirk.

"Oh shut up." I say giggling.

"Okay okay. But I could eat." He answers, putting his arms around my neck.

"Do you wanna go to that diner you love?"

"Really!"

"Yes!" I say laughing a little. He stands on his toes and gives me a quick kiss. I grab my wallet and we head downstairs.

"We're going to get food Thomas." I yell upstairs.

"Okay!" He yells back. We walk on the sidewalk, keeping a fair amount of space in between us. When we get to the diner I open the door for him.

"Wow, how gentlemanly of you." He says.

"Oh hey boys! Haven't seen you here in a while. I'm guessing you guys want your regular booth?" The woman and the front desk asks us.

"Yes please Jenna!" I answer her question. Connor and I used to come here all the time when we were younger. Jenna has been here for as long as I can remember. She walks us over to our table and hands us two menus. I remember this one time Con and I went here when we were fourteen. We were sitting in our booth near the back and almost no one else was here. It was the first time he called me 'baby'. I remember I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day.

"Your server will be out in a moment." She says with a sweet smile.

"Thank you." Connor says.

"So are you gonna get blueberry pancakes?" I ask him with a knowing look.

"Yep, you know it."

"You're so cute." I say quietly. His face quickly heats up. After a while a waitress takes our order and brings us our food.

"Oh my god Kevin, is that Robert?"

"What?"

"Turn around." I quickly look over my shoulder and I see Robert with another man. He rests his hand on the guy's shoulder for a second before saying something that makes them both laugh.

"Wow and he called us the f**s." I say, making Connor laugh.

"Hey..." He says, looking right into my eyes.

"Hey."

"After we finish eating do you wanna go to our hill?"

"Yeah! We haven't been there in forever." I say. We both finish our meals and I leave a tip on the table. We walked for a while until we saw the park that our hill is in. I love that spot so much. Five years ago we confessed our feelings for each other. That was the hill we had our first kiss on. That was the hill that we had some of the deepest conversations of my life. We got to the hill and I sat down, motioning him to sit next to me. I looked around before putting my arm over him, causing him to lean his head on my shoulder.

"I really missed you Kev."

"I missed you too."

"Why did we ever stop doing whatever this is?"

"Because it was a lot of sneaking around. I just wanna show you off to everyone baby."

"So why don't we do that?"

"You know that we can't."

"I hate it. I just want to be open about my relationship with the man I love." He says. I feel my heart start to race a bit.

"What?" I ask him, slightly in disbelief.

"...nothing." He says, looking at the ground.

"Connor, you love me?" I ask him, now facing him. He looks back up at me.

"I, I uh. I get it if you don't feel the same way-" I cut him off.

"I love you, Connor."

"I love you too." He says with the biggest smile I have ever seen. I place my hands on the side of his face and pull him in for a kiss. I think that this is the happiest that I have ever been. I mean the most wonderful boy in the whole world loves me back. He is so sweet, and kind, funny, smart, and I just love him to pieces. All I want to do is shower him in affection and love. I want to be with him. I want to share my life with him. But then I remember why I kept these feelings inside. We can't even be together in the way that we want to. I feel my heart sink a little bit thinking about it. He pulls away from me and pushes his forehead against mine.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey..."

"Let's go back to my house."

"But Thomas is there."

"I bet I can get him to leave for a while."

"Are you sure?"

"I mean, I've known him for eighteen years." I say with a small chuckle.

"Okay. Let's go." He says, standing up. It only takes thirty minutes to get back to my house. I quickly run up to Thomas's room.

"Hey Tommy."

"Hey Kevin. What's going on?"

"Thomas you haven't been back for a few months... um, there's a new ice cream place that opened, you should check it out."

"Why are you trying to get rid of me? You bringing some girls over for you and Connor?" He says laughing.

"No- I just, I know how much you like ice cream."

"Uh huh. Sure. Alright, I'll leave now. Have fun, but not too much fun."

"Oh shut up." I said with a chuckle. He left no more than five minutes after that. I walked back to my room to see Connor sitting on the edge of my bed.

"There he is." He says with a smile, walking towards me. I gently place my hands on his waist, as he places his right hand on the side of my face. I start to count all of the freckles on his face, and as if he gets impatient with me not doing anything, he pulls me into a passionate, yet tender kiss.

"Oh I like you Con."

"I like you too." He says. I guide him to the bed and sit him down.

"You're beautiful." I say, making him blush.

"Awwww no-"

"Yes you are. I'll fight you on this McKinley."

"Alright alright, I give up." He says, putting his hands up.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby." I don't know how I went a day without hearing him say that. It makes my heart beat faster than I thought possible. My stomach feels like it is full of butterflies. I want to here him say that for the rest of my life. I love it so much. I love _him_ so much.

"I like when you call me baby." I say, making him giggle.

"You do?"

"Yeah, it makes me feel safe... I don't know how to explain it."

"I'll remember that... baby." He says again. I quickly pull him into another kiss. I lick his lips for a second. I never thought that someone could taste good. He tastes sweet from the syrup on the pancakes that he had earlier. That's a really weird thing to think. I laugh a little at my own thoughts.

"What are you laughing about?"

"Nothing." I mumble against his lips.

"Alright..." He says. I can feel him smiling against my lips. We kiss for a while until I hear a quiet creaking noise.

"Did you hear that?" I ask, sitting up as I was know on top of him.

"No."

"Oh okay. I'm probably just paranoid."

"Alright. Well, where were we?" He says, laughing a little.

"I think that we were here." I say before going in to kiss him again. Oh god I really love him.


	5. Choices

_February 22, 1948_

"Con are you ready to go?" I asked as I buttoned up my shirt.

"Yeah just one second." Connor said fixing his hair. I looked over at the small clock in my room. It read 7:36. I walked over to the mirror that Connor was looking at himself in, meticulously making sure that his hair was set in the place that he liked it. 

"You look very nice." I said, wrapping my arms around his waist. He giggled a bit as I rested my head on his shoulder. 

"Thank you darling." He said, pecking my cheek. I blushed slightly and removed my arms from around his waist. 

"Come on, we have to get back to your house." I told him, lightly taking his hand in mine and walking out of my room. We were about to leave the house, when I noticed that Connor didn't have his jacket on.

"Con you need your jacket." I told him as I handed it to him. I love the boy, but he's probably one of the most forgetful people that I know. 

"Thank youuuuuu." He said with a little smile. My god does my heart melts whenever he smiles. I grabbed his wrist loosely and pulled him towards me. I placed my opposite hand on his cheek.

"You're so pretty." I whispered to him, causing him to blush.

"Thank you sweetheart." He said with a half-smile. I leaned down and gave him a quick kiss. I've always loved how he is just a bit shorter than me. He's only 5'8", while I'm 6'1".

"Okay let's go now." I said with a small laugh. He nodded and we headed out the door. It only took about twenty minutes to walk to Connor's house. We entered his house to find Hazel sitting on the couch, embroidering what looked to be one of her coats.

"Hazel we're ready to go when you are." Connor called out to her.

"I'm ready to go now." She said standing up. She carefully placed her thread, coat, and needles on the small coffee table in front of her. She quickly made her way over to us.

"So do you have any places in mind?" I asked her.

"Yes a few. Mom and dad said that we could use the car too!" She explained.

"Okay let's go then." Connor said. We all walked out to the driveway and got in the car quickly. Connor and I sat in the back together. While Hazel was driving, I discreetly placed my hand in Connor's, making him blush. I mouthed 'You're cute' to him, causing him to become even more flustered. I laughed a bit.

"What are you laughing about?" Hazel asked me in her soft voice. I swiftly took my hand away from Connor's, noticing how he frowned a bit when I did.

"Oh it's nothing." I tell her. I looked back down to see that Connor put his hand back in mine. He looks up at me and gives me a small smile. Now I'm the one who's blushing. I honestly don't know why we decided to take that 'break' from seeing each other all those years ago. He's so perfect and amazing in every single way. I don't think that I can go a day without seeing him ever again. He's the first thing that I think about in the morning, and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. I love him with all of my heart and I would give an arm and a leg just to see him smile. It just makes me so upset that other people think that what we have is wrong just because one of us isn't a woman. We do the same things that other couples do. We spend time with each other, we go on dates, we have fun, we know each other's families, and we're affectionate. I don't understand why people think that we are sick or insane for loving someone of the same gender. People keep saying that people 'like me', are rapists and pedofiles. That we are trying to take advantage of young men. All that I want is to be able to love the man that I do, openly. I don't want to have to hide my feelings for other people so I fit what they think is 'right' and 'acceptable'. I don't understand why other people like Connor and I get beat up, harassed, and killed just because they're different than everyone else. Connor would never hurt a fly, all he gives to the world is kindness and love. When Connor came to my house with a black eye just because people thought that he was gay, my heart broke. How could anyone be so cruel to someone else because of who they like. He didn't choose to be this way, and neither did I. I tried, I tried so hard to be straight or 'normal', is what most people say. I want to like girls. I want to be attracted to them. I want to want to kiss them and be intimate with them, but that's not how I am. I want to be with other boys, specifically Connor. What hurts the most though, is when people say that what gay men have isn't real love. People think that two men, or two women, can not love each other the way that a man and a woman do. It makes me furious when they think that they are just in it for the sex. I have known so many straight men who only even date girls just to get into their pants, and then when they get the girl pregnant, they just leave her to deal with the baby on her own. Plus most family will disown their daughters for having a child out of wedlock. The poor girls can't even tell their parents who they were with, because who is going to believe a woman over a man? Then, the boys will go somewhere and say that they're 'good christian boys', oh and lets kill the gays! It is so disgusting. If any one were to tell me that what Connor and I have wasn't real, I think that I would kill them. They have no idea how much this man means to me. I love him with every single part of me. I have known him for nine years. He is not just my lover, he is also my best friend. If someone said that what we are is wrong, gross, and just confusion, I would make sure that they would never be able to say those things to anyone else ever again. These people who are like this, don't understand love. They don't understand that you can fall in love with anyone. Regardless of who they are. You can't stop love, you can only accept and embrace it. 

I let out a sigh, and looked out the window. We got to the first dress shop in about ten minutes.

"Okay boys, let's go in." She said getting out of the car. We all walked into the shop and began looking.

"So what kind of veil do you want to get?" I asked her, as I sorted through the various veil options that were in front of me. 

"I'm just looking for something plain. Maybe a little bit of lace detail." She told me. She went off to the opposite side of the shop while Connor and I looked for a veil in our area. I picked a few out and showed them to him.

"What do you think about this one?" I asked him holding out a veil. It was a little longer than shoulder length with lace detail at the bottom of it. Connor took it from my hands.

"Oh it's beautiful Kev, she'll love it! You know you really have a talent for this kind of stuff."

"Thank you, let's go find Hazel I want to give it to her." I said. I was still holding the other few veils that I found just in case she didn't like the first one. Connor and I looked around the store for a while.

"Where is she?" Connor asked me.

"I don't know... maybe she went outside or something?"

"Okay I'll go check outside." He handed me the veil that he was carrying and went outside. I sat down on one of the chairs that was at the front of the store. I was fiddling around with the veils while I was waiting for Connor to come back inside. A young woman approached me a few minutes later.

"Hi..." She said quietly. I could see two other girls around her age watching us from a far, giggling a bit.

"Hello. Can I help you?" I asked her.

"Well this is kind of silly... but I-I uh, was wondering if, uh if I could get your name?" She asked shyly. I stood up and put my hand out for her to take it.

"My name's Kevin, what's yours?" I said. She eagerly shook my hand.

"Uh my name's uh, it's Mary." She said blushing slightly.

"Well it's nice to meet you."

"I was wondering if you would maybe, uh maybe want to hang out sometime. Maybe next weekend we could go to a uh, restaurant or-or a diner?" When she finished talking I looked at the front door, thinking of Connor.

"Oh that's very sweet, but I'm going to have to pass, I'm sorry. You seem like a lovely girl really."

"Oh that's fine. Sorry to waste your time."

"It wasn't a waste I, well I'm just talking to someone already."

"It's alright, I get it." She turned around and walked back to her friends. I looked over at them and they shot me a few disappointed glances before going back to shop. Hazel and Connor walked back in the store not even five minutes later.

"Oh Hazel there you are. I have found some veils that I think you might like. This one is my favorite." I said handing her the one that I showed Connor earlier.

"Oh, it's gorgeous! Thank you Kevin, I think that this is the one." She said.

"Oh I'm glad you like it."

"I am going to go buy this, I'll be back in a few." She walked up to the cashier, leaving Connor and I alone.

"Why was Hazel outside?" I asked him, setting down the few veils that I still had in my hands. 

"She wanted a quick smoke, anyways... who was that girl you were talking to?" He asked, turning so he was now facing me.

"She just tried to ask me out," I said with a laugh, "why do you ask?" He blushed a bit and looked away.

"No reason..."

"Oh my gosh, you were jealous." I said quietly so only he could hear.

"Kevin I wasn't."

"Sure you weren't."

"I wasn't!"

"Hmmm okay."

"Kevin stop." He said, now blushing an even darker shade of red.

"What I'm not doing anything." I told him, stretching out the 'y' in anything. 

"You're giving me that look! That one you do when you don't really mean what you're saying." He said quickly.

"You know me too well McKinley." I said lightly 'punching' his shoulder.

"That I do." He giggled. I looked into his eyes, not saying anything at all. I started to lean forward a bit, not even realizing I was, until I heard footsteps come up from behind me.

"Hey guys I bought the veil." Hazel said. I shot up, taking a step away from him. I felt a blush consume my face. Connor's face became tinted pink as well.

"What's up with you guys?" Hazel asked with a small chuckle.

"Nothing, lets just go home." Connor said, trying to stop her questions.

"Okay..." She said. We made our way back to the car, Connor and I once again sitting next to each other in the back. He pressed his thigh against mine, trying to have anything physical contact with me. I found it extremely adorable. It was taking a lot in me to not pull him into a kiss right now. He is just always so stunning. Plus today when he got jealous over a girl was very adorable. He just cares so much, I love that about him. I waited anxiously for Hazel to get back to their house, once we did I quickly got out of the car. I was trying to get Connor's attention by glancing at him every ten seconds or so.

"What's going on with you?" He asked with a small laugh. I pointed to upstairs, hoping that he would get the idea. He quickly nodded.

"Um we're gonna go upstairs Hazel." Connor told her.

"Oh okay." She said. Both Connor and I went as fast up to his room as we could, without gaining the attention of anyone else. Once we were in his room, I shut the door and pulled him into a deep kiss. He pulled away after about thirty seconds.

"I have been wanting to do that all day." I say placing my hands on his upper arms. He placed a hand on the side of my face, causing me to lean into the touch.

"Oh you're a cutie." He giggled.

"So about earlier at the store..."

"Oh hush."

"You were jealous! That's so adorable." I squeak, moving my hands to his waist.

"Okay maybe I was a little jealous, but it's hard not to be when your boyfriend is so handsome." He told me, making me blush.

"Baby I don't want anyone else but you."

"I like you Price."

"You're not too bad yourself McKinley."

"I love you."

"I love you too." I said before pulling him into another kiss. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bed. He sat down and lightly pulled me down with him. I placed a hand on the side of his neck, and the other on one of his thighs.

"You've got nice lips." He mumbled, making me giggle.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that they're good lips. I don't know! Just take the compliment." He said with a chuckle.

"Well thank you then." I placed both of my hands on his waist and slowly pulled him onto my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck. He started to roll his hips against mine, resulting in me letting out a low groan. I felt my face heat up from the noise I let slip out.

"Con what are you doing?"

"Nothing..." He said, moving his lips to my neck.

"Baby, you can't leave any marks."

"But you look so pretty with them."

"Maybe but your sister, mom, and dad are all downstairs."

"Fine." He huffed, sliding off of my lap. He faced away from me.

"Babyyyyy." I said trying to get him to look back at me. He stayed put.

"Baby please turn around." I said again. He shifted away from me slightly. I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. Softly kissing his neck. He giggled a bit.

"There he is! There's my boy." I say before he finally turned around. I lightly kissed him again.

"You're so nice to me. What did I do to deserve you?" He asked, running his hands through my hair.

"Mmh that feels nice." I said, referring to him playing with my hair.

"You've got such pretty hair, I wish I had hair like yours."

"What? Are you crazy? Your hair is so pretty Con."

"I dunno... it's so wavy and bright."

"That's what I love about it! Not many people have such vibrant hair like yours." I told him. He placed his hand in mine, gently rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. He buried his head in the crook of my neck.

"You're so adorable." I said, wrapping my arms around his upper back.

"Psshhh nooo." He mumbled. I lifted his chin so I could see his face.

"Yes you are." I said placing my hands on the sides of his face and gave him a few pecks.

"Kevy..." 

"What is it pumpkin?" I said. He giggled a bit.

"Pumpkin? That's new."

"Well, your hair reminds me of them."

"I can't argue with that logic." He said, snuggling closer to me.

"So you like being called pumpkin?" I ask him.

"Yes... it's cute."

"Good, because I like calling you it...... pumpkin." I said, hugging him tighter. He giggled a bit, lightly kissing my jaw. We stayed like that for quite a bit until someone knocked on the door. Connor slid away from me quickly, his mom opened the door.

"Do you boys want lunch? I made meatloaf." She asked us.

"Uh sure... Kev?" Connor said, turning to me. 

"That sounds great Mrs. Mckinley." 

"Alright. Well get yourselves washed up and come downstairs." She said before leaving the room. We both walked walked into the bathroom, Connor shutting the door behind us.

"What did ya shut the door for?" I asked him. 

"I shut it so I could do this." He said before placing his hands on my face a kissing me. I let my eyes shut and placed a hand on his waist, pulling him closer. I pulled away and leaned my forehead against his. 

"You're so beautiful... I love you." I whispered to him.

"I love you too darling."

"We should probably get downstairs soon..."

"But I wanna stay here and kiss you some more."

"As nice as that sounds, we already told your mom that we would be down there soon."

"Okay, okay." He said turning to the sink and starting to wash his hands. I washed mine after he finished and we went downstairs.

"Here boys, take a seat." Connor's father told us. We both sat down next to each other.

"Before we eat, I'd like to say a prayer." Connor's mom said. Everyone at the table nodded their heads before we all held each other's hands. As his mom said a prayer, Connor kept rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of his hand. I don't think he was even doing it intentionally. Even if he didn't mean to do it, I smiled at the touch. I gently squeezed his hand, and he squeezed my hand back, causing me to smile even more than before. After the prayer we began to eat. I noticed Connor kept shooting me small glances and smiles the whole time while we were eating.

"So Kevin." Mr. Mckinley finally spoke up. I looked over at him. 

"Yes sir?" I asked, trying to hide my nerves. I don't talk to Connor's father that much, I talk to his mother much more. Plus that's my boyfriends dad, and I want him to like me. I know that they don't know that we're anything more than best friends... but I still want his family to like me.

"What do you think you'll be doing for a job once your schooling is over?" He asked.

"Well... my dad said that I could work at his shop, but I've also been looking into doing more of manual labor." 

"That's good. Connor over here still wants to be a dancer or something... I keep asking him how that's going to support a wife and kids." He said. Connor blushed a bit.

"Oh... I see." I said, looking over at Connor.

"When do you think that you're gonna find a girl and settle down?" He asked me, making me feel a bit uncomfortable. Connor, sensing that I was nervous, spoke up.

"Dad don't ask him about that..." 

"Why not? It's a common question."

"Just don't okay."

"Is he like a fairy or something?" His father chuckled a bit, making me sweat even more than I already was.

"Dad stop..."

"What's wrong with you... it's just a joke." 

"Can't you see that you're making him uncomfortable!" Connor said, a little too loudly. I awkwardly picked at the food on my plate, avoiding everyone else's gaze.

"Don't raise your voice at me again or I'll slap you into next week." His father sternly told him.

"Yes sir..." Connor said quietly, looking down at his plate. We all finished eating pretty quickly after that. It was only about two in the afternoon, but I decided that I would give Connor and his family some alone time. He walked me to his front door, cautious that no one could see or hear us. 

"So... will I see you tomorrow..." I asked. He smiled up at me.

"Of course silly! We do go to the same school after all." 

"Yeah I know... I'm gonna miss you."

"It's not even gonna be a full twenty four hours, you'll be fine."

"I guess. See you tomorrow then... pumpkin." I say, whispering 'pumpkin', which also makes him blush.

"Oh-okay... bye." 

"Bye Con." I flash him one last smile before exiting his house and starting to walk home. 


	6. Rumors

_February 25, 1948_

"So I've started talking to the new girl that has English with us, Michael," James told the table.

"You didn't scare her off now, did ya?" Ben asked, taking a bite from his sandwich.

"No! You know that the ladies love me." He spat back at him.

"Dude, even Price has been on more dates than you," Michael said knowingly. James stuck his tongue out at him.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" I asked him. The other three all awkwardly looked at me.

"Well, it's just, um, you're the only one who doesn't seem to be interested in that kind of stuff," Ben explained. I shrugged a bit.

"Well I mean of course I'm interested in that " _kind of stuff",_ it's just... just, I'm not right now," I told them, running a hand through my hair.

"We know Kev', anyways this new girl's name is Alice and I think that she might be actually interested in me..." James rambled on. I zoned out and my gaze drifted around the cafeteria. I found my sight set upon Connor, who was sitting a few tables down with his friends. A smile tugged at my lips. God, I must look like a lovesick idiot. I rested my head in my hand and let out a happy sigh as I watched Connor laugh and converse with his friends. He glanced over my way and did a double-take when he saw me staring. I blushed and looked away from him.

"... anyways I think she likes me! Hey, what's wrong with you Kevin?" James stopped gushing about the girl and asked me. I looked up at him, trying to get my blush to go away.

"Huh? I'm fine James." I told him.

"Why is your face red then? Do you feel okay?"

"I'm fine... it's just a bit hot." I said, trying to get him to not focus on me.

"But it's February..." Michael spoke up. I blushed again and looked down at the table.

"Guys he was blushing! Ooh, Kev, why were you blushing?" Ben chuckled and nudged my side. I rolled my eyes and pushed him jokingly.

"I wasn't blushing, you guys are just overreacting."

"Sure Kevin.." James mocked.

"I wasn't blushing James!"

"Well someone's defensive," Michael muttered quietly.

"You dick!" I chuckled and threw my crumpled up napkin at his face.

"Knock it off Price!" One of the teachers who was monitoring the room said to me.

"Sorry, sir..." I replied. I looked over James' shoulder and I saw Connor looking at me and laughing slightly. I blushed once again. Michael must have seen me staring past him and James because he looked over his shoulder.

"Kevin are you looking at that table Lucille is that?" Michael smirked. Shit. Lucille was one of the most popular girls at the school. She's pretty, smart, funny, nice, but most importantly, these three think that I like her.

"Kevin was looking at Lucille?" Ben looked up from his food.

"I knew you liked her!" Michael exclaimed.

"Guys I don't like Lucille! I've told you this a thousand times."

"Then who were you looking at? She's the only girl at that table." Michael gave me a puzzled look.

"No one. Now just knock it off." I said, annoyed. They all gave each other a look and I just scoffed. I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped a bit. I turned around to see Connor. He giggled a bit.

"Shit Con, you scared me."

"You know, you shouldn't cuss." He scolded me.

"Yeah, yeah I know," I said. He sat down next to me.

"So, what did you come over here for Connor? I mean you had a table with Lucille." James asked.

"Oh, I just wanted to see you guys. Plus Lucille isn't my type at all." Connor scoffed a bit.

"Why not, everyone likes Lucille. Kevin has a crush on her." Michael told him, making me blush.

"I do not," I stated. Connor shot me a smirk.

"He does now. Maybe I could set you two up." Connor says nonchalantly.

"Connor please don't do that, I don't like her," I begged, my face still red.

"Oh he definitely does, he was just staring at her," Ben spoke up.

"You guys are so annoying! I'm leaving, I'll see you later." I said before storming off to a nearby bathroom. God, why can't they just believe me when I tell them that I don't like _anyone_ \- well that's not true, but I'm not telling anyone _anytime_ soon about Connor and me. About a minute later Connor steps into the bathroom, not making direct eye contact with me at first.

"Hey." He said quietly.

"Hey, Con."

"Are you alright? You got pretty upset back there."

"I'm fine. It's just annoying." I sighed, rubbing my forehead with my hand.

"They were just messing around a bit Kev, why don't you give them a break?" He asked, shrugging and leaning against the door. I huffed and let out an empty laugh.

"They do it _all_ the time. They won't shut up about me liking Lucille, which I _clearly_ don't." I explained defensively

"Awww, is Kevy upset that his friends are teasing him?" He said in a mocking baby voice, walking over to me. I placed my arms over my chest and glanced at him for a second, before looking over his head.

"Oh shut up.." I tried to hide the small smirk that was tugging at my lips.

"You're cute when you get all annoyed.." He told me, placing his hands on my crossed arms. I looked down at him- god he looked so adorable. I don't know how he does that. He always looks so cute, even when he's annoying the hell out of me.

"Yeah? Is that why you annoy me so much?" I joked. I watched as a small smile formed on his lips. He stood on his toes and leaned in close to my face. I love it when he does that. Whenever he tries to take the lead in kissing, he has to make himself taller and it's the cutest thing ever.

"Maybe..." He whispered, his breath tickling my lips. I closed my eyes anticipating him to kiss me- but he didn't. Instead, he placed a finger on my lips.

"Not here, someone could walk in. Let's go to the janitor's closet." He grabbed my hand and quickly guided me through the halls. Much to my disappointment, he dropped my hand once we were in the main halls.

"How do you know where everything is?" I asked as we started to slightly jog there.

"Because I volunteer in the Summers." He explained through breaths.

"Dork..." I chuckled. He rolled his eyes before cracking a smile again.

"Okay, we're here." He beamed in front of the door. I quickly opened the door for Connor and pulled him in by his waist. He pushed the door closed with his left hand while placing his right hand on the side of my face. Leaning into his touch, I placed a short kiss on his lips. Pulling away with a wide smile plastered on my face.

"I didn't come all the way here for that sad excuse of a kiss." He whined before leaning in to kiss me again. I let a sigh of content out onto his lips, and then closed the gap between our faces. As we kissed our bodies seemed to perfectly fit in each other like puzzle pieces. I held his hips to mine as if my life depended on it. He ran a hand through my hair, getting it caught in a knot and pulling, eliciting a moan from me. He pulled away from me and had wide eyes. I felt face go a cherry red.

"What was that?" He snickered.

"Nothing... let's just go back to kissing." I tried to change the subject and went back in for another kiss. He placed a hand over his mouth and started to giggle. I felt myself becoming more embarrassed- if that were even possible.

"What are you laughing about," I questioned him.

"You moaned when I pulled your hair!" He exclaimed, unable to stop laughing.

"it's not _that_ funny," I mumbled.

"Yes, it is! I mean, did you like it?" Connor asked, his fit of giggles dying out. I looked downward at my feet, mortified. He lifted my chin so that I was looking at him in the eyes again.

"I don't know... I've never, had that kind of reaction to that before."

"Did you like it? I can do it again." He offered. I thought for a moment, I guess it did feel _kinda_ good. I mean, I only make sounds like that whenever he gives me hickeys or grinds against my hips, or while we were having... I shook my head from those thoughts and focused on the boy in front of me.

"I think I liked it..." I said quietly. He beamed when I said that and did it again. I let out another low groan. Connor smiled even more. He always liked to make me feel good, whether that was a back massage, holding my hand, whispering sweet nothings into my ear, or even just making me laugh. So when he found out that I enjoyed it when he did something as simple as pulling a strand of my hair, he got very excited. You could see it in his eyes, they lit up a bit. I knew that he would make sure to keep in mind that I liked that. I was in a bit of a daze, but I still heard when the bell went off.

"Con... I think that we have to get back-" He cut me off by kissing me again. I nudged him away from me so that I could speak again.

"Connor we gotta get back to class."

"Come on now, live a little Kev!" He placed a hand on my chest and looked up at me with wide eyes. I situated my hands on his hips and rubbed my thumbs in circular motions.

"We've only got two more periods left," he looked slightly disappointed, "um, after school we can go to a drive-in. I can borrow my dad's car." With that, he perked up and smiled.

"Alright, it's a date then." He said holding out a hand for me to shake. I rolled my eyes and laughed at his ridiculousness. He looked down at his hand and back up at me with this ridiculous grin plastered on his face, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, it's a date." I scoffed and shook his hand. He grinned, knowing that he had just gotten what he wanted. He stood on his toes and kissed my forehead.

"Meet me at my locker after school!" He said before happily skipping out of the janitor's closet. I chuckled a bit as he skipped away. _God, I love this boy so much, it's crazy._ I waited for a few minutes before leaving the closet. I didn't want anyone to think that Connor and I were in there together. The fact that I stayed inside the closet during passing period may or may not have made me late to fifth-period for the third time that month. Which also may or may not have caused me to get detention after school for tomorrow. But it didn't matter, because Connor was happy about our date later and so was I. I barely paid attention in class the rest of the day, I was too focused on getting to cuddle with Connor for two hours. We hadn't been able to cuddle with each other for that long in years- well besides the night before the day that we... I started to blush at the thought of that day. Every moment of that day was perfect. We were intimate with each other, and he was so so beautiful. The way that he clung onto to my back, how he held me, how he planted gentle kisses on my face and neck, and _oh god,_ those _sounds..._ I looked back up at my teacher- Mrs. Molane- and she was staring right at me. I avoided her eyes and stared straight at my desk. _Just thirty more minutes Kevin, then you get to see Connor._ I told myself. Soon enough I was out of class and making my way quickly down the hall to my locker. I grabbed my backpack out and shoved everything into it- crumpling a few papers in the process. I fixed my hair using the comb I always brought in my bag and looked in the small mirror that I had put on my locker door. I always liked to keep my hair nice and neat, it was kind of my thing that I just _did._ I spent a few minutes fixing up my hair, I wanted to look nice for Connor. I thought that I may have had some old cologne in my backpack, but, sadly I couldn't find any. I decided I was taking too long and quickly shoved my locker shut and locked it. I slung my backpack over my shoulder as I tried to walk calmly to Connor's locker to make me have that "cool kid" persona, or whatever, but it didn't come off that way. I know that because the moment that I got to his locker Connor started giggling at me, which made me blush.

"What's up, cool guy?" He asked, still giggling. I rolled my eyes and chuckled at him.

"Oh stop that. Come on, ready to go?" I asked, and leaned my arm on one of the nearby lockers. He nodded and went to shut his locker door, but I stopped him when I saw that the jacket I gave him last week. My heart warmed when I saw that he still kept it.

"You kept my jacket?" I asked softly, trying to not tear up from happiness. I watched as a blush rose to his cheeks. He looked shyly at the ground and quickly grabbed the jacket out of the locker.

"I did... do you want it back, I can give it back to you-" He started saying, but I quickly cut him off.

"No, I don't want it back. I gave that to you, it's yours now." I smiled at him and watched as a bright smile grew on his face. I wanted so badly to pull him into a hug and kiss his head and face repeatedly, but I couldn't, there were too many people.

"Thank you..." He said quietly, slipping on the jacket and smiling up at me. I grabbed his backpack and handed it to him, to which he quietly thanked me and put it over his shoulders.

"Come on, let's get to my house," I said, excited for our date. We never really went on dates that often. The most we would do is go out to diners and get lunch, but we had been doing that when we were "just friends" too, so I never thought of them as dates. We did go to each other's houses a lot to hang out, cuddle, or even sometimes make out, but we only started doing that when we were a bit older. He shut his locker and we started walking out together. I walked closely next to him and discretely linked my pinky with his. Connor looked up at me and smiled apologetically before moving his hand away from mine.

"Sorry..." He mumbled quietly. God, I hated that so much. I hated that I couldn't hold the hand of somebody who I loved. I hated that I wasn't allowed to do that, that we could get hurt for showing even the slightest amount of affection. It wasn't his fault in any way, I knew he was just trying to keep up safe, but it still stung.

"It's okay Con," I told him, putting on a tight smile before continuing to walk to my house. 


	7. Stories

_February 25, 1948 (Later that night)_

I had gotten my father to lend Connor and me his car for the evening so we could go to a drive-in theater to see one of the movies that were playing that day. I didn't even know what was playing, I just wanted some time to hang out with Connor alone, plus it's not like my dad knew that we were going to be making out most of the time, which is what we were currently doing. I had pulled into the very back of that parking lot, that way no one else was near us. Connor had turned the radio station on to the movie, claiming that 'we would have to explain what the movie was about if our parents asked what it was'. That made me laugh a bit because we both knew that we would not be paying attention to the movie whatsoever. I gently pulled Connor across his seat and into my lap so that I could kiss him better. He laughed against my lips as I did this. 

"Mmh are you trying to get lucky tonight, Price?" Connor asked. I placed my hands on Connor's sides, gently running them up and down. 

"Maybe..." I teased, causing Connor to chuckle and roll his eyes. Oh, how I loved it when he did that. Whenever Con tried to act all "tough" or "annoyed", but he would always go back to his giggly and bubbly self, it was adorable. 

"You're ridiculous Kev." He scoffed, placing his hands on my chest and leaning back a bit so he could see the rest of my face. 

"I know I am. Now, what is this movie that we're supposed to watch even about?" I asked, looking past Connor and at the screen that was far behind him.

"I don't know, I think it's about gangs or something." He shrugged. I reached across from him and turned up the radio by a few notches so that we could hear it better. Connor rested his head on my chest, tightly wrapping his arms around my middle. I placed my hands on his upper back and held him close, lightly kissing the top of his head every once in a while. 

"Hey, do you think that we did anything weird around Thomas when you stayed over?" I asked, breaking the silence that filled the car, excluding the movie playing in the background.

"No... we were just being friends around him. Why are you asking?" Connor questioned, lifting his head from my chest and looking at me again. 

"He's just been acting strange around me. I mean he told our parents that he was going to propose to Ella, which they were ecstatic about. So we celebrated and all that stuff, he got the family ring, and he's leaving to go back to Jersey on Friday. But the thing is, he has been avoiding me. I'm not sure why... he's been acting awkward around me." I explained, sighing slightly. Thomas and I have always been close, he's only two years older than me. I remember when we were kids, we would always mess with our sister, Lucy who is just one year older than Thomas. We would tease her whenever she was doing the chores and steal her candy on Halloween, but she would always get it back. We've always been pretty normal siblings. Which is why I am so confused about why he won't talk to me. He especially looked at me strangely when Connor and I said that we were going to see a movie... I just wish I knew why. I never wanted to make him angry or anything, I hope that I didn't. 

"I'm sorry Kev, I really don't know. Maybe you could ask him?" He suggested. I shook my head 'no'. I would feel weird talking about my feelings with him. We are close, but just in that way. After all, our father always told us that men didn't show their emotions like women. Men had to be "Strong" and provide for their families.

"No... I think it'll be okay. I mean it can't have been that big of a deal. It's fine." I told Connor, more trying to convince myself than anything else. 

"Alright then..." Connor said before resting his head in the crook of my neck. 

Once the movie was finished I turn off the radio and placed Connor back in his seat, leaning over to kiss his cheek one last time. He smiled softly and turned to me. 

"Thanks for taking me out tonight Kev. It's very sweet of you." He said, his voice quiet and tired. He was starting to get in his 'sleepy' voice, which I absolutely love. 

"Of course, I love you, Connor," I whispered, my facing becoming a light shade of pink. I was still getting used to telling him that, and even though I knew that he felt the same, I always had the fear that he would say; "Actually, I don't feel the same Kevin and I'm telling everyone that you tried to force me into a homosexual relationship." I know that's just my paranoid thoughts creeping in again, but you can't blame me for being scared about that. 

"I love you too, Kev." Connor beamed back at me before leaning and kissing me softly. I pulled away with a dazed look on my face before starting up the car. 

"So," I said, clearing my throat, "I'll drop you off at your house, and then I'll see you at school tomorrow, alright pumpkin?" I asked. He blushed at the pet name but nodded his head, looking out his window. I felt a soft smile form on my face and drove off to Connor's house. He placed his hand on my thigh as I drove, making my breath hitch but I would never admit it to him. These are the kinds of moments that I craved. I loved being able to just spend time with Connor. Just being able to exist with him in the same space is lovely. We don't have to be saying a word, we don't have to be doing anything, it's just so nice to have someone always by your side, to always be with you. I love the days when Connor and I can sneak out and go to the park at night together. Or when we get to spend an evening alone together, but these moments... they're so simple yet so precious. And I really love that about them. 

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry that this is a shorter chapter. I started school so I've had less time to write. I'll try to upload more frequently


	8. Strange Behavior

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: /Slight/ mention of an ed

_February 25, 1948 (Later that night, Kevin's house)_

I had dropped Connor off at his house, sneaking as many kisses as I could before he insisted that I go home and get some rest since we had school tomorrow. I reluctantly agreed and drove back to my house. I was still caught up in the way that Thomas was acting around me, especially whenever I mentioned Connor. Now that Con wasn't with me, there was nothing to distract me from the worrying thoughts that had begun to consume my mind.

Did Tom overhear something that Connor and I were talking about? Did he happen to see one of those god awful love letters that I had hidden in my room? I should probably give those to Connor sometime... I shook my head and went to thinking about what Thomas could have possibly noticed that is making him at strange. Maybe I made a joke that made him uncomfortable... I really hope that I didn't. I let out a sigh before pulling my dad's car into our driveway and getting out. I made sure that my hair looked neat as always and that Connor had _not_ been raking his hands through it. I fixed my appearance and got out of the car, knowing that I was going to have to talk to Thomas about what was going on with him. 

I walked through the front door and my mother immediately came up to me to say hello. She placed a few kisses on my cheek while making sure that I was okay. Mama was afraid that one of the new "gangs", which are really just groups of unruly teenagers, were going to hurt me. 

"Are you feeling okay, Kevvy?" She said. I chuckled lightly and gently pushed her away from me.

"I'm alright mama, I didn't get beat up or anything," I assured her, really just wanting her to leave me alone so that I could go up to my room and go to sleep.

"I just worry! You can't blame me for that." She said. 

"And I don't, but I'm not fourteen anymore," I told her. She let out a sigh and nodded. 

"I know, I know. You're just growing up so fast and you're my last baby! What am I going to do once you head off to college and have a family of your own?" She asked.

"Maybe you could start that sewing business that you've been wanting to for years," I suggested. Plus my mother is amazing at sewing and making clothes. So many of my own were made right in my living room.

"Oh, you know that I could never, Kevin. Your father is the provider and I take care of the house."

"Right... I always seem to forget that." I sighed. It always hurt to see my family fell into the roles that society has picked out for us. It's not the most reassuring thing because I am most definitely out of the social norm. Sometimes it just feels like the only person who really gets me is Connor. I love him more than anything, but it would be nice to have some support from my family as well. I kissed her on the cheek before heading upstairs to my room. I wished that Connor was here because I just wished I could tell someone what I am feeling.

Once I had made it to my room, Thomas was there sitting on the edge of my bed and flipping through one of my books I had. I looked over at him before closing the door, knowing that him being here most likely meant that he wanted to talk.

"Thomas? What are you doing in here?" I asked my back now against the door. Thomas placed the bok down onto my mattress with the spine facing down. He took a glance over at me and I could see a look of worry and confusion in his eyes. He looked awfully stressed for someone who was soon to be engaged. 

"Kev, why don't we talk," Thomas said, reminding me of our dad a lot actually.

"You sound like dad." I scoffed. He sighed and shook his head.

"You don't seem to have many friends other than Connor... don't you find that strange?"

"Um... not really? I have friends that I talk to at school." I reminded my brother.

"Wouldn't you maybe want to branch out a bit... maybe get to know some girls better?"

I rolled my eyes at that. How come everyone in my life was so obsessed with me dating someone? Did it really matter that much? "Thomas, I don't feel like dating anyone if you're trying to set me up."

"No! That's not what I meant, Kev... just- you don't seem like the type to go around dating. Maybe just become friends with a girl and things will move on from there."

"Is dad paying you to say this shit? You've never seemed to care about me getting a girlfriend much before." I said, crossing my arms. Once I did that, Thomas stood up and came over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder and giving me a pitiful look. 

"Listen, dad hasn't set me up to do anything just... think about it, please? I'm just worried for you Kevin. I don't think girls want to date someone who is _always_ hanging out with another guy. Plus, you may even find someone you like!" Thomas suggested, trying to sound cheerful, which made me laugh.

"That won't happen, trust me." Once the words left my mouth I regretted saying it and bit down on my bottom lip, still trying to seem normal. Thomas rolled his eyes and sighed, bringing his hands to his hips. 

"Please just be careful then, Kev." He told me before leaving my room. I stood there and stared at the open door in front of me, thinking about what he could mean by saying that. I shook it off and shut the door. It's not like my brother who doesn't even live here could know anything... right? I took a breath in and shook my head before slowly closing and locking my door. I triple checked that no one would be able to get in my door before rushing over to what I had deemed the _Connor Box_. The _Connor Box_ was a box where I kept everything that I was meant to give him.

In this small box which I had hidden so well, it took five minutes for me even to get to it and had three different locks with different keys, I had been keeping all of my love notes and letters to Connor. There were also sketchbooks that were mainly drawings of him and sometimes places we would go on dates to. If anyone ever found this... I think that it would be over for me in all honesty. After I had _finally_ reached the box, I started to unlock it and placed it on the floor next to my bed. Just in case someone asked to come in and I needed to quickly hide it. I pulled out one of the sketchbooks and skimmed through it.

"My god, I was awful at drawing a few years ago..." I mumbled to myself. I found a couple of drawings that were of Connor when he was around fifteen. Of course, I drew him without a shirt on... I was one horny kid. I pulled out my most recent sketchbook and began to draw another picture. This time it was of Connor wearing that jacket I had given him. I honestly should probably show these to him some time... but maybe he'd think that I'm crazing having this many drawings of him. He has seen me draw before, but he has no idea about these sketchbooks. Hell, he doesn't even know about this damn box. One day I know that I'll give it to him. It will make a good anniversary present or something. Plus as time goes on there will only be more and more for him to see once he finally gets it. I stuck my tongue in between my lips as I carefully shaded in Connor's many freckles... I adored them so so much. I have never met someone with as many as him. That's probably just because that boy has the most sensitive skin of someone that I have ever met. Every once in a while he'll use lotion and his whole arms become red. Even when he goes in the sun for five minutes he gets sunburnt. He always has to put on sunscreen when he goes for a walk. It's actually pretty funny because he can never rub it in all the way and there's a tiny bit of white that sticks to his nose. I always have to do it for him. I chuckled softly that the many memories from having to do that. 

Once I was satisfied with the drawing that I had done, I placed the book back into the box and began to put it away. I had to make sure that it was very carefully hidden and that no one would ever find it somehow. I doubt anyone will. Even if they did they would need to find each of the keys to open it anyway. I checked my watch to see what time it was and kicked myself. It was already eleven somehow. Connor is going to kill me if I come to school tired again. He hates it when I don't get enough sleep. I let out a disgruntled sigh and started to change into my clean pajama clothes. I had to layer up because it gets cold in February here. I wish that I lived somewhere that was always nice and warm. That sounds like a dream to me. I finished getting ready for bed thirty minutes later and flicked off my light. I laid down with my front facing up towards the ceiling and just sat there. I somehow wasn't tired but knew that I needed to get to bed. I was most definitely not a morning person. 

I don't know when I managed to fall asleep, but I was woken up by my mother loudly knocking on the door. 

"Kevin! Why is your door locked?" She practically yelled at me. 

"Jesus," I mumbled, slowly sitting up and stretching my arms. 

"Kevin Henry Price, come open this door." 

"Okay, okay. I'm coming, mama." I sighed, rubbing my eyes and standing up. I made sure to put a shirt back on. I couldn't have my mother see the few hickeys that were left on my chest. I went over to the door and unlocked it for my mom. She quickly opened the door and started looking around my room as if she was going to catch me having something that I shouldn't. 

"Why was your door locked?" She asked again as she poked through my bookshelves. 

"I forgot that I did last night. I didn't mean to lock it..." I told her, hoping that she would believe it. 

"Okay, you just know that I don't like that. Plus you are always sleeping in late so I have to wake you up somehow." 

"I think that banging on my door did the trick just fine, mom." I rolled my eyes when she was looking away from me.

"Don't roll your eyes at me." She said. I swear that woman has eyes in the back of her head. I have no idea how she just knows that I did that... it's very strange. Maybe it's just a superpower that all moms have. Maybe I'll have it too once I'm a dad... even though that probably will never happen.

"You need to go down and eat breakfast. You keep skipping meals and I don't like it. You're still a growing boy." My mother explained to me before turning around again. 

"Sorry, I just get stressed and forget to," I said quietly. She placed a hand on my cheek and looked at me.

"You know that you can always tell me what's bothering you. I'm your mother." 

"I know, mama. I will next time, promise." I said, making her smile and remove her hand. 

"Good. Now go eat and get ready for school."

"Yes, mam." I nodded before hurrying down the stairs and into the kitchen table. The only other person there was Thomas. It was kind of funny how mom was still making him act like a kid every time he came over. I think she just missed having a bunch of little kids running around and playing together. She's a very sentimental woman.

Once I took my seat I looked over at my brother and gave him a smile, causing him to turn around and look down at his plate of food. A frown spread across my face as I still looked at him. Why was he all of the sudden ignoring me? He has never done this to me... did I do something wrong? Last night he gave me that weird talk and now he is just ignoring me completely? What the hell is up with him. It's not even like he got rejected by his proposal because he hasn't asked yet. I turned my view down at my plate and ate as much as I could. Lately, I haven't wanted to eat that much. Or at least as much as I normally do. Food just makes me feel a bit off. I am too stressed to worry about that though. Being in senior year, pressured to get a girlfriend, and having a secret relationship, I have much bigger issues than some food. 

Once I had finished eating and totally _did not_ throw away the rest of my food and cover it, I went up to the bathroom to clean myself up a bit. I try my best to take showers frequently but last night I forgot. I locked the bathroom and took my shower, cleaning with the particular soaps that I have. I am very organized when it comes to these things. I finished up in the bathroom but looked at myself in the mirror for a bit. I noticed that the dark spots underneath my eyes were growing more prominent and I didn't have any idea of how to get rid of them besides sleeping. Some days I hate how I look and I just do not understand what Connor sees in me. He says that I am so beautiful and handsome... but does he really mean that? Is he just pretending to like me to have someone "catch us" and then throw me in jail? I just don't understand what about me makes me like me so much... I don't think that I'm all that great. I am weird, dorky, and a bit odd as well. He's just so perfect and I am just... me.


	9. What do you Know?

_February 29, 1948_

Today was a Sunday so that meant church. The church was a bit strange for me. I never really had the strongest faith but I guess that there _could_ be a god. It's not like it is one hundred percent unlikely... I just don't know how I feel about worshiping him. He would hate the person that I am anyway. Being gay is, probably the biggest sin. Besides murder. I feel like if the people who went to my church found out that I was a homosexual, they would probably all run me out of town. I don't even want to think about what my dad would say.

I'm actually feeling pretty down still. Thomas still is acting weird around me and he insisted that I go to church with him. He did not even want mom and dad to be there with us. I would have thought his mood would have been better since he had gotten the ring he was going to propose to Ella with, but he was still being super weird. I miss being able to have fun with my brother, I haven't seen him in ages since he moved to Jersey... it's like I am not even there for him anymore. I let out a shaky breath and calmed myself before I started to cry from thinking too much. I'm sure that this will all be okay, at least that's what I am going to keep telling myself. I fixed my tie in the mirror and slicked back my hair one last time before leaving my room. I made my way down the empty hallway and to the kitchen. Mom and dad had already left since they like to help out before service starts. Thomas was already waiting for me in the doorway. His elbow pressed against the frame.

"C'mon Kev. Let's try and not be late. Though you always seem to be late to service." Thomas said, seemingly inspecting his hands, still not looking me in the eyes. God, I wish he would just fucking _look_ at me _._ I glanced over at the empty house before letting a soft sigh escape my lips and joining my brother as we left. I knew that he was going to try and talk to me in the car because Thomas doesn't act like this unless he is serious about something. My hands started to get sweaty as my hand reached to open the blue car door. Had they been sweaty before? Where was this coming from? Am I breathing faster? What is going on?

I shook my head and opened the passenger side door. Sitting down and looking straight ahead, not even giving a glance to Thomas. He started up the car and began to drive to our church. The air was filled with silence and awkwardness. I knew that he wanted to talk to me, but was it going to be now, at church, after church? Maybe he'll just forget and keep ignoring me forever. Doesn't that just sound great? I just don't understand what is going on. What did he find out? Why does he seem so worried? Why is he freaking out? 

"I can't hold my tongue about this anymore. Why are you ignoring me so much?" I finally managed to say after biting my lip. I looked over and Thomas seemed to be getting a bit more nervous now. 

"Please say something, Tom... I-I don't understand why you- um, you're ignoring me. You made me have that really weird talk with you and then just left. What do you know that I don't? Please talk to me." I said softly through many pauses. I felt my vision start to get blurry, probably from the tears that are starting to build up. Thomas took a while before he opened his mouth the speak.

"Kevin, I'm not going to rat my brother out. But I know." He explained quickly. I swear I could feel my heart stop. _Fuck fuck fuck._ Okay, just calm down Kevin. Maybe he means something else. _Don't freak out._

"What do you mean 'you know'?" 

"I-I just know! Don't play stupid, Kev."

"I am not playing stupid! I have no idea what you're talking about. Maybe you just misinterpreted something!"

"I highly doubt that."

"What do you mean that you doubt that? You... you haven't been here in so long."

"Kevin. I know and you know what we are both talking about." 

"Fine. How about we both say what we're thinking at the same time then." I said, looking out the window as I tried to think of something, _anything_ , to say.

"I don't want to do that. I can not even think of the words to say."

"Then I guess I'll just never know what you know."

"You know. When we get to church you better be paying attention. You wouldn't want to be committing any sins, Kevin." 

"Fuck off, Thomas. You have no idea what you're talking about! I have no idea either." I choked out, trying not to cry. How in the hell did he even know about Connor and me. I have never said or done anything around Thomas for him to think that. Plus there's no way that he found _the box_ since everything was perfectly in its place. Did he see us holding hands? No... that's not enough to make this big of a deal. Did he see us kissing... You know, maybe this isn't about Connor. Maybe he is talking about something else. Am I just trying to make myself feel better? Shit. This is the worst day ever.

We had made it to church and I did not even notice that I had now been crying. I wiped my tears away and left the car, staring down at my feet as we walked into the building. Now I have to sit in a place surrounded by guilt. Every day I am starting to doubt more and more that god even exists. Why would a God who is meant to love all plague us with hunger, sadness, diseases... why would he do this to us. Why did he have to make me gay? Now I will never be able to truly be normal like everyone else, it's not fair.

Thomas and I ended up sitting in the very front row, mostly crowded by old ladies who I have seen here for as long as I could remember. I even saw mom and dad on the opposite side of me. I hated that Thomas had made me sit up here, now there was no way to hide the shame and guilt that was on my face whenever I entered a church. The priest began his sermon and I felt absolutely nothing the whole time. I wished that Connor and I went to the same church, at least then I would have somebody to mess around with during the most boring hours I can imagine. Why do they always have to make these things so boring? Maybe more people would convert if they gave us something to actually be engaged in, rather than just hearing about the same lessons and bible verses over and over again.

Thomas must have noticed my thoughts were wandering when he jabbed my side with his elbow and pointed up to the front of the church. He seemed much more desperate to get me to actually listen. I honestly do not think that I've paid attention in church since I was thirteen. I was just barely staying awake when Father Daniels, the priest, mentioned a verse I don't recall ever hearing.

"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." He announced, making me freeze with fear. Why had I never heard this verse ever? Was it just because I was finally paying attention? I had never heard anyone talking about this verse before. I glanced over at Thomas to see that he was staring at me, making my cheeks go red. 

"What are you looking at me for?" I whispered to him, not wanting to disturb anyone around us. Or worse, think that something was going on that was _wrong_ with me.

"You know why I'm looking at you. Pay attention to this part." He said, pointing back to Father Daniels. Something inside me finally broke and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. Of course, I got looks as I was leaving, but at least I managed to hold my tears back until I had made sure that the door was locked behind me. 

I sunk to the ground and hid my face in my hands, trying to be as quiet as possible. The tears slowly rolled down my face as I tried desperately to catch my breath. It felt like I couldn't breathe and that the walls were closing in on me. Now Thomas thought that I was some kind of screw-up, just like my dad. It felt as though my family was starting to let me go and I was all alone. I knew that I still had my mom and sister, although Lucy was off having kids already so it's not like I talked to her much. I am just so fucking terrified that my mom is going to side with my dad and I will be all alone... but at least I always have Connor. _Connor._.. I have to tell him about this.

I wiped my tears with the sleeves of my shirt that had become wrinkled from my lack of care to the little details. I unlocked the bathroom door and quietly sunk out of the church. I knew that time would be on my side and I would be able to walk to Connor's house. I could just wait outside of it until he and his family finally got back home. I walked down the sides of the street, trying to hide behind as many trees that I could. We lived in a small town in Ohio and I knew just about everyone. I did not need people to see me and then telling Thomas or my parents where I went; I just can't deal with it right now. 

I managed to make it to Connor's house in about thirty minutes. I sat on his porch and watched as some people did not attend church walk their dogs and drive past me. Connor and his family finally showed up I could tell that they were confused why I was just sitting on their porch.

"Kevin? What are you doing here, dear?" Clara, Connor's mother, asked as she stepped out from the passenger's seat.

"I was just needed to come here and talk to Connor. Something for school." I lied, fidgeting with my hands.

"Aren't you meant to be at church right now?"

"I was able to leave early today." She looked at me was a slight suspicion and tried my best to ignore it and not start crying again. I just needed to talk to Connor alone and tell him what was going on.

"Alright, then come on in. Did you have anything for breakfast?"

"Yeah, I'm alright, thank you, mam."

"Good. You know that I think of you as one of my own. You're always welcome here, Kevin."

"You say that every time." I let out a little laugh as I walked into their house with Clara.

"I know that I do, I just want you to know. You can go talk to Connor about what you needed to, now." 

"Thank you, again. Sorry for just sitting there."

"It's okay, dear." She gave a sweet smile. I thanked her one more time before following Connor up to his room since he was waiting on the stairs for me. Connor was clearly concerned and could tell that something just wasn't right with me at the moment. Once we got to his room Connor immediately took my hand in his and looked up at me.

"Kevin, what's wrong?" He said softly.

"I think that... gosh can I take a seat?" I already knew that there was no way I was going to get through this without crying.

"Yeah yeah, of course, baby... here." Connor quickly brought me over to his bed and sat down next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and let out a soft sigh.

"Thomas knows... he knows about us."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so I have a wattpad account (elder_whizzer), and this was a work I have published on there. It is still ongoing. I hope you enjoy! :)


End file.
